This is so fresh and fun! I love the quirkiness of it and it's very well-written, as always. For the line your partner mentioned, I could see how it brought them out of the story. I like what you're going for there, but that particular imagery have me the ick a little haha. Maybe their smooth heads caress each other as they nod? Idk either way, this is great. I'd be curious to know how how your writer's group reacts, I hope they give it the love it deserves.
Thanks Erin 🙏 This feedback legitimately means a lot, gives me a little more confidence going into tmrw. Appreciate you.
The truth is I think I gave Phillip & Sadie a nice, intimate moment, and my kneejerk reaction was to try and balance that with a bit of lay-it-on-real-thick icky humour. I can recognize that maybe that’s not serving the story though… Maybe it’s stronger to let those two just have a nice moment together without needing to dial up the cheekiness in order to wink at the reader.
This is so fresh and fun! I love the quirkiness of it and it's very well-written, as always. For the line your partner mentioned, I could see how it brought them out of the story. I like what you're going for there, but that particular imagery have me the ick a little haha. Maybe their smooth heads caress each other as they nod? Idk either way, this is great. I'd be curious to know how how your writer's group reacts, I hope they give it the love it deserves.
Thanks Erin 🙏 This feedback legitimately means a lot, gives me a little more confidence going into tmrw. Appreciate you.
The truth is I think I gave Phillip & Sadie a nice, intimate moment, and my kneejerk reaction was to try and balance that with a bit of lay-it-on-real-thick icky humour. I can recognize that maybe that’s not serving the story though… Maybe it’s stronger to let those two just have a nice moment together without needing to dial up the cheekiness in order to wink at the reader.